Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why do so many people like life?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What is the Replika app, and how does it work?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Are rich people harder workers than poor people as a whole?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Joe Biden is not the best president we had. That would be John F. Kennedy. How is voting for Donald Trump any worse than voting for Joe Biden?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Are you happy with your life?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know who the president of Turkey really is

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Has anyone liked being made a cocksucker?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

US tycoon pours $100mn into Trump crypto project after SEC reprieve - Financial Times

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What did your sister do to you that you can never forget?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What has been your best sexual experience?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Why do some people have loving parents and some do not?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Red Sox’ Roman Anthony already has done something Alex Bregman hasn’t - MassLive

I have a reading level above third grade

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why are the bands Smashmouth and Nickelback often used as punchlines?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Do narcissists love their children?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why am I attracted to older men?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can count

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I see through liars

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I can read