Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I see through liars

Love Island Cast Member Leaves the Villa on Day Two - Vulture

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Police take back statement dismissing hate crime in gay actor’s killing - The Washington Post

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t cotton to rapists

I actually pay taxes

Natural Tick Repellent Found—on Donkey Skin - Newser

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Haunting Image Shows The Moon Deimos From The Surface of Mars - ScienceAlert

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can read

Has anyone ever had sex with their cousin? How did it start, and would you do it again?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why do old men think young women and girls would want them over guys their own age?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why do we let ugly men exist?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

What are the best items to buy from a furniture shop?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Has Anybody been gang banged? If yes, how many guys? Was it as much fun as looks on porn? Were you double penetrated? Answer all three questions - Elaborate.

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why would a spouse cheat if the marriage is good?

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Why are US customs agents so talkative? I cringed hard when a US customs agent asked me if I was on vacation. He doesn’t need to know why I went to another country as long as I am a U.S. citizen.

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can count

Microsoft’s Bad News—500 Million Windows Users Must Now Decide - Forbes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

That whole wheat bread you've been eating is often a trap - it's not what you think it is - Earth.com

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Amazon launches new R&D group focused on agentic AI and robotics - TechCrunch

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Matted Dog Lived Alone On A Rooftop For Years — Then Hope Arrived - The Dodo - For Animal People

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability